that rosebud girl

The 2010 to-do list update, March edition

One thing I have learned about myself: the potential for public shame just isn’t a big enough motivator sometimes. Or maybe it is. Whatever. All I know is that the to-do list is kicking my ass right now and I should probably get back on track. The score is probably something like To-Do List 15, Jenn 1. *sigh*

The list (which, I swear, I will conquer this year … or at least rack up a winning percentage):

• Learn how to sew.

No progress on that, but my crafting partner in crime is busy with other important life things.

• Run a 5K in under 30 minutes.

OK, so I ran a 5K on Super Bowl Sunday. It took me 41 minutes. I conked out at the 2 1/2 mile mark. And that’s pretty pathetic.

Admittedly, finding training time is downright impossible. But I do plan to run a race in April. We’ll see if my knees will survive.

• Lose 30 pounds by August so that my knees don’t cry when I do ballet (or run, for that matter). Do you know how hard it is to lift all my current weight on five toes?!

Uh, let’s just say I a) haven’t stepped on a scale in weeks and b) am pretty sure the needle is creeping in the wrong direction. Rain has prevented me from taking most of my daily walks. But I’ve rediscovered ice skating and have taken it up again … doesn’t that count as exercise?

• Return to the dance studio in August (it’s been way too long).

Again, this is sketchy. Maybe I’ll decide I want to do figure skating lessons instead. Or maybe I won’t have time in the fall. My crystal ball is murky.

• Learn how to silkscreen/screenprint.
• Take up painting.

Any art-related endeavors have sadly, hit the back burner. And they’ll likely stay there until the summer.

• Double the money I made in freelance.

Well, I’m on a good pace so far. But there were also some giant expenses (hello, subcontractor … and that thing called the HOW Design Conference).

• Do Eppie’s Great Race as part of a relay team (I can kayak, anyone want to run and bike with me?).

I would be kidding myself if I said I could do said race. I would laugh myself right into next year.

• Redesign my design portfolio site.

Uh, can there be 36 hours in a day? And 9 days a week? Please?

• Redesign my personal website (it’s like, 10 years out of date).

See above.

• Have an actual, fancy, hard-bound design portfolio before the HOW Conference in June.

Uh, try again. Consider this will take some planning and actual photographic set up, I might have to shelve this for a little while. Like until May. But at least by then I’ll have learned how to light all my portfolio material properly and take the pictures….

• Dye my first batch of yarn.
• Make something with the weaving loom that’s been sitting in my closet for the last three years.
• Finally use the needlefelting kit I bought in 2005.

Dang it, crafting … I miss you so.

• Repeat this year’s success at craft shows and maybe even double that monetary output.

Well, if I could just finish that custom order that’s been on my docket forever ….

Also, craft show season is starting up. I’m booked for most Second Saturdays. So, get ready for the advertising blitz! (And buy stuff, won’tcha?)

• Keep my billion blogs up-to-date.

OK, so maybe I need 40 hours in a day and 10 days in a week.

• Actually market and pay attention to my craft shops.

This might get easier once craft show season starts. Or not.

• Actually market and get more freelance clients.

Well, marketing is awfully hard without a portfolio site, smarty pants! *Kicks self* But my name has been making the rounds, and there are legit inquiries. Now imagine what would happen if I did marketing….

• Kick ass in general.

Always am. Been kicking the tar out of several project to-do lists too … just not these big to-dos!

The 2010 to-do list update, February edition

So, back in January, I wrote this post about my to-do list for 2010 and thought it might be nice to update my progress every month. For starters, it would make me feel more accountable for my lameness. Secondly, letting the whole world know what a total non-starter I am might shame me into getting off my butt to do stuff.

Not sure if either ploy really works, but hey, at least I got some stuff done.

Now, the update.

This is the list:

• Learn how to sew.

OK, I haven’t learned how to sew yet. This is mainly because the person who is going to teach me to sew (Lisa) is really busy with more important stuff right now. But we’ll get there, hopefully.

• Run a 5K in under 30 minutes.

Well … I am running a 5K on Super Bowl Sunday. Only because of peer pressure — Ed is running the race because his sister is flying up here to run the 10K version. I didn’t want to look like the lame de la Fuente. However, I might be lame after doing this race. Doubtful I’ll do this in 30 minutes. I have not run in a while (bad, bad, bad me for not training).

• Lose 30 pounds by August so that my knees don’t cry when I do ballet (or run, for that matter).

I was doing OK with this until the end of the month. I was walking 3-4 miles every morning until the middle of January, when someone decreed it should rain torrentially every day for two weeks. At one point, I had lost six pounds. But I stepped on the scale this morning and had only lost a measly 3.5 pounds from my Jan. 1 weigh-in. I blame a rash of late January parties (OK, I have no self-control).

• Return to the dance studio in August (it’s been way too long).

Sadly, this may depend more on money than fitness. But we’ll see.

• Learn how to silkscreen/screenprint.

No movement on that front yet.

• Take up painting.

See above.

• Double the money I made in freelance.

I had some big projects left over from the end of last year, so there has been cash. Unfortunately, there were a lot of expenses too (like paying for the HOW Conference and Creative Freelancer Conference) and various bills, so I still feel a little poor.

• Do Eppie’s Great Race as part of a relay team (I can kayak, anyone want to run and bike with me?).

Well, if I don’t get fit, this ain’t happening!

• Redesign my design portfolio site.

No progress here. But I have been busy with other stuff.

• Redesign my personal website (it’s like, 10 years out of date).

Zilch.

• Have an actual, fancy, hard-bound design portfolio before the HOW Conference in June.

Zilch here too.

• Dye my first batch of yarn.

Super duper zilch.

• Make something with the weaving loom that’s been sitting in my closet for the last three years.

Have I mentioned that I haven’t really done any crafting lately?

• Finally use the needlefelting kit I bought in 2005.

See above.

• Repeat this year’s success at craft shows and maybe even double that monetary output.

Well … I do have a show in March. Does that count?

• Keep my billion blogs up-to-date.

Dropped the ball on this one too. I cry for my indie*galore blog.

• Actually market and pay attention to my craft shops.

Again, the lack of crafting is a problem. Not to mention lack of time.

• Actually market and get more freelance clients.

I have been fielding inquiries and talking to people. But having a portfolio site would really help in this department …

• Take a photography class.

OMG! Something I can check off! I’m taking an intermediate photography class at Sac City this semester. I am ridiculously excited about it. I’m also having fun. I even invested in a new lens. Woot!

• Kick ass in general.

Well, I’m always trying, aren’t I?

Let the insanity begin!

Somehow, I thought taking three classes this semester at Sac City was going to be a good idea. Like I wasn’t doing anything else. Pshaw. But I’d taken a semester off and was feeling the itch to learn new things. And to think creatively in another way. Etc., etc., etc.

I’m really excited though about all my classes. I had to add everything at the last minute, so I’m glad I also got into those classes. (Well, knowing the teachers probably helped. Not to mention being able to tote around my own computer with all the software). I’m doing the student-run graphic design studio class (kickass projects), learning After Effects (yay to animation and motion graphicky stuff) and finally taking a photography class.

I don’t think I’ve taken this many units at City in a few years. The workload will be pretty insane. But I do like the idea of being able to do some new things. The studio class is working on a few high-profile projects and some multimedia stuff, plus I get to go back to my print roots and produce a nice piece for a show later in the year.

Photography has me especially excited since I own a dSLR now and I’ve been wanting to take a serious photography class for years. The assignments should be a lot of fun (and take a long time). Looking at previous students’ portfolios absolutely blew my mind! And I’ve got some fun travel plans, like going to Guam and Japan, and really hope to take some awesome photos there.

I might be regretting the time crunch come March, but well, insanity is the only way I know, right?

Aboard the fitness wagon

It’s the start of the year and of course, I had a few fitness and weight related goals for the year. I’ve gone up and down both the weight and fitness roller coasters more times than I can count, and I know how hard it can be to stick to something. You need changes you can live with.

As the old adage says, you have to walk before you run.

Inspired by that, and several friends who have written about their weightloss journeys and writing about their not-so-scary daily routines, I’ve decided I would do a daily walk. Varying distance, but at least a couple of miles.

Every day.

It’s quite a commitment but one I think I can live with. I like walking. I live in a neighborhood where it’s easy to walk and change the route regularly. I plan to walk when I wake up, no matter the time.

I see it as a Zen moment. It gives me time to think, time to solve problems in my head, time to think about the day’s tasks. I’m a brisk walker, so it’s not like I’m not getting some kind of benefit. But I tend to work better later in the day, so it’s not like I’m going to have a time crunch.

It’s a change I think I can live with.

Of course, I’ll throw in more exercise down the road. Like jumping back into Couch to 5K (I’ll probably start back at week 4 or something) and biking when it’s not as cold.

But I’m walking before I run.

The 2010 to-do list

Normally, I don’t really care about resolutions and crap like that. But I like lists. I really like to-do lists. They’ve really helped me keep my life straight (especially since I jumped ship and went freelance). So, here’s the list of stuff I’d like to accomplish in 2010. Some things may be near impossible, some much easier, but there’s something about seeing them on paper (yes, I have a paper version) that makes them seem more real.

Here it is (in no particular order, really):

• Learn how to sew.
• Run a 5K in under 30 minutes.
• Lose 30 pounds by August so that my knees don’t cry when I do ballet (or run, for that matter). Do you know how hard it is to lift all my current weight on five toes?!
• Return to the dance studio in August (it’s been way too long).
• Learn how to silkscreen/screenprint.
• Take up painting.
• Double the money I made in freelance.
• Do Eppie’s Great Race as part of a relay team (I can kayak, anyone want to run and bike with me?).
• Redesign my design portfolio site.
• Redesign my personal website (it’s like, 10 years out of date).
• Have an actual, fancy, hard-bound design portfolio before the HOW Conference in June.
• Dye my first batch of yarn.
• Make something with the weaving loom that’s been sitting in my closet for the last three years.
• Finally use the needlefelting kit I bought in 2005.
• Repeat this year’s success at craft shows and maybe even double that monetary output.
• Keep my billion blogs up-to-date.
• Actually market and pay attention to my craft shops.
• Actually market and get more freelance clients.
• Take a photography class.
• Kick ass in general.

Just for fun, I think I might blog about this list every month in 2010 and monitor my progress. Again, some of this stuff is harder than others. Some of it may not be accomplished, but I put it out there to push me and well, miracles might happen.

See ya, decade of Aughts!

It’s almost the end of 2009. Kind of mind-blowing, considering I thought I woke up the other day and it was February 2009 and I was at a Super Bowl party watching the Steelers win an exciting game. Where the hell did time go?

It was a good year. It was a bad year. Probably marginally better than 2008.

I changed careers. I got laid off from a job. It gave me the impetus to leave the working world for the freelance life and I’m proud to say that I will never enter the working world again. I traded in one set of problems for a different set of problems when I made the jump, but I can honestly say that it was worth it.

I reconnected with a lot of friends. I reconnected with the SoCal gal in me. I felt like a jet-setter, flitting off to wherever during the fall. For better or for worse, I was living the kind of unstructured, free-spirited life that fit my personality.

I kind of forgot that this was the end of a decade. 2000 was a hell of a long time ago. 2009 was a year of monumental changes, and in a way, that’s apropos considering these Aughts were a decade of change.

When 2000 started, I was in my last year of college and graduated at the end of the year. I was kicking ass, taking names, getting ready to get out of L.A. and embark on that sportswriting career I’d wanted since I was 13.

In the next nine years, I’d live in three states, work for four newspapers, cover exactly one NCAA women’s basketball tournament game, learn about 10 new hobbies (including ice skating!), hold countless side jobs (ballet teacher and tax preparer being among them), get married, buy two houses, acquire the third of three cats, add at least 15 states to the list of states I’d set foot in, start two businesses, change career arcs at least three times, change actual careers once, get laid off once, start a band side project and meet countless amazing people along the way.

When 2009 ends, I’ll be 10 years older, looking forward to growing as a designer, thinking of new things to conquer, kicking ass and taking names. I guess some things never change.

I think this decade has brought me some of the best friendships I’ve ever had in life and some of the most meaningful ones. You are all fricking awesome and you know who you are.

Cheers.

Fighting the good fight

Normally, the news that one of my nearest and dearest friends from college is getting engaged is wonderful news, but this piece of news was so poignant and bittersweet.

Mark is my best friend from college. He’s one of the kindest, gentlest souls I have ever known. He never spoke ill of peope, didn’t swear or drink, was deeply spiritual and God-fearing (pretty much all the things I wasn’t). He wasn’t in-your-face about anything and the perfect foil to my um, not so even-tempered demeanor.

Just before I left college, Mark told me he was gay. He struggled a bit with this, trying to reconcile that with his faith. But he eventually learned to deal with it on his own terms and embrace who he was.

And recently came the news he wanted to propose to his partner of two and a half years, knowing full well they wouldn’t be able to marry here in California. He wanted to do it anyway, to express the fact he wanted to spend he rest of his life with this man. Mark wrote this eloquent email to his friends telling us all this, and it was very moving to see him wanting to move forward in the face of what he knew to be the facts.

I commend Mark for his courage. And his unwavering optimism. Because that’s who he is. I don’t think he’s capable of cynicism. And the rebel in me has to smile because he’s sticking it to the man in his own way.

He’s fighting the good fight, and I will fight it along with him. And I’ll do it his way, without bombast and harsh words and actions. Because his gentle way, I think, speaks more volumes than shouting and placards do.

I wish him the best of luck.

Coachella 2009 = un-fricking-believable!

My first Coachella is in the books, and I have to say it was one of the best experiences ever. I had such a great time that I think I might have to make this part of my annual concertgoing diet (not to mention my annual budget).

Everything about it was awesome: great music, great times. I’m sore as hell and I have a twisted ankle, but it was well worth it. Even though it was sweltering (especially Sunday), it wasn’t too bad. I expected the heat. Even the camping was a lot of fun (there’s nothing like taking a shower in a portable shower truck).

Friday was by far the best day and made the entire trip worth it. We saw all the best performances that day (and it wasn’t as hot). Not that Saturday and Sunday were snoozers, but I mean, the Molotov-Franz Ferdinand-Paul McCartney combo couldn’t be beat.

The final band tally:

Friday:
We Are Scientists (partial)
Molotov
Franz Ferdinand
Morrissey
Paul McCartney

Saturday:
Henry Rollins (spoken word, no music)
Calexico
TRV$DJ-AM (partial)
M.I.A.
The Killers

Sunday:
Couple of DJ sets (Shepard Fairey, Busy P)
Lupe Fiasco
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Public Enemy
one Cure song

Man, that’s a crapload of bands and stuff. Edgar was right — Coachella is great because you get to see a lot of bands you probably wouldn’t pay to see by themselves. I would probably not have seen Lupe Fiasco or the Yeah Yeah Yeahs or Public Enemy outside of a festival venue, but I really enjoyed all three performances.

And you wind up seeing a lot of great performances and wanting to get some new music. I might have to go find some Molotov now. And some Lupe Fiasco.

Best performance:

Paul McCartney, hands down! The man is something like 65 years old and still put on an amazing show. And it was two-and-a-half hours! “Blackbird” was done all by himself on an acoustic and was beautiful; he also played “Something in the Way She Moves” with a ukelele and then moved on to using a full band. (His drummer, by the way, was really badass — we kept calling him Warren Sapp.)

My favorite part, though, was when everyone sang along to “Hey Jude.” There’s something insanely cool about tens of thousands of people singing in unison.

Oh, and I forgot how much “Helter Skelter” rocks out. He played it during one of the encores.

Runner-up:

Franz Ferdinand. Funny that I’ve now seen them three times without really intending to see them — they just happened to be on whatever bill I was watching at the time. But they’re excellent live, and every time I see them I think I want to buy more albums.

I was quite amused that the lead singer was wearing a George Harrison t-shirt. And he was good with the crowd.

Things that sucked:

• Twisted ankle! It caused me to miss about half the TRV$DJ-AM set, too. And I couldn’t see Jenny Lewis because I was kind of immobile.
• M.I.A. was okay, but her DJ was really annoying and I wanted him to STFU after a while.
• Poor Morrissey looked like he was going to keel over at some point. He was really struggling through the beginning of his set, though he did recover.
• Glasvegas had to cancel on Saturday, so we didn’t get to see them. (A friend had recommended we see them.)
• Sunday’s heat was awful, and almost everyone was sold out of water. We should have been getting free water at that point.
• I think I have heat rash.

It was very exhausting, but so worth it. I’d definitely do it again!

an elegy to a career.

Zero hour is near, but the reality of leaving journalism and leaving a daily paper still hasn’t quite sunk in. I have worked at a newspaper in some capacity, at some level, since I was 18. Journalism has been such a large part of my life for so long that this moment is bittersweet.

I know what the current state of newspapering is. It breaks my heart that it has come to this. But me leaving this business had nothing to do with the state of this business or not loving journalism. I just had the proverbial offer I couldn’t refuse.

I still believe in journalism. I still believe in what it can do and I still believe that newspapering is viable. I hope to someday teach a new generation of journalists how to maneuver a rapidly changing media landscape. (If all things fall correctly, I’ll get to be a teacher in a few months.) I still love journalism. I will miss working at a daily newspaper like hell. And that’s what makes this so hard.

I owe a hell of a lot to journalism. It gave me a lifetime of stories to tell people. I have crashed into a snowbank and been cited for speeding on my way back from sporting events. I have watched buzzer-beating shots, big upsets, incredible performances and even a high school kid (who’s now an NFL punter) kick a 60-yard field goal. I’ve nearly been hit in the head by a field hockey ball, been nailed in the ankle by a lacrosse ball and almost been hit by a car (twice!) while crossing the street and dictating high school football stats on deadline on a cell phone. I thrived on deadline and loved the adrenaline rush, whether it was reporting from double-overtime football games or directing the show on a prep football Friday. I will remember all the good and the bad and cherish them all the same.

Journalism let me travel and see places I otherwise wouldn’t have gotten to (even if some of those places were out-there burgs like Pullman, Washington, and Harrisonburg, Virginia). I got to live in three states and experience all four seasons. I went to really cool events, but also enjoyed the small venues, the packed-to-the-ceiling high school gyms and the countless food stands at high school stadiums. (Once upon a time, I could tell you what high school stadiums in Delaware sold the best nachos.)

Journalism made me who I am. It made me steely. You need to be if you’re a girl in sports journalism. As much as you like to think we’re all enlightened and all that, it’s not true. I heard some sexist things, I had people doubt my ability and my knowledge, and I wanted to kick a few men in the balls to teach them a lesson. It taught me to grow a thick skin and roll with the punches. I got yelled at by coaches, players, irate parents, editors I didn’t agree with. (Admittedly, this business is why I can’t really tolerate the idiocy of the general public, but at least there have been times that I’ve met people that remind me that not all of humanity is dumb.)

Journalism taught me to be resourceful and to be creative and to work well under pressure. A last-second shot can render the 12 inches of copy you’ve already written totally useless. Someone famous dies on deadline and you’re forced to switch gears. I once had a designer turn to me 10 minutes from deadline and tell me he needed the NBA page designed. From scratch. (Done. Give me something hard to do.) I’ve had to dictate stories from really weird places, drive through the streets of Queens to find the place of a friend I hadn’t talked to in years just so I could plug in my dying computer and sleep somewhere because of an impending snowstorm, and figure out how to get to places pronto after car breakdowns. I’m really good at doing things on the fly, and I like to think journalism helped me sharpen that skill.

I have met lifelong friends at every place I have worked. I have met all kinds of interesting people. Hell, journalism even got me a husband.

But what I owe most to journalism is that it allowed a snot-faced kid from a spit of land in the middle of the Pacific Ocean the chance to dream big. The chance to chase the dream and sit in press boxes in stadiums whose seating capacity would have easily fit about half the population of the place I grew up. The chance to see in person the games I once could only watch on television in the middle of the night. I was never that kid who wanted to stay on the island and be in a small, comfortable place where everyone knew who I was. I wanted to be the small fish in a big pond. I wanted to expand and escape and wanted the challenge of establishing myself in a strange place, and journalism was my avenue.

Sure, there were lots of things I hated and lots of people I hated. Lots. Enough to make me cry or throw tantrums and make me want to quit on the spot. But in the final estimation, journalism treated me very well, and I feel really fortunate to have the run that I did.

There used to be a time I thought I would leave the building cursing and raising a middle finger on the way out. But I’ve chosen to remember it well. I will remember the glory days instead. I’ll remember raiding candy jars, high school football betting pools, crass jokes, crazy nicknames, random conversations, being tipped for coding a Kentucky Derby chart and having fun on the road after a tournament’s worth of basketball games. No other career will give me the same kind of roller coaster ride. And part of me will always miss that.

It was a career well spent, and I will never regret it.

my heart aches, it breaks.

Today, I found out about all the layoffs going on at various Gannett entities including of course, The News Journal in Delaware, a place very near and dear to me. Three people in sports were laid off and I knew all three. It absolutely broke my heart.

The one that hit me especially hard was hearing that Tom Coburn, the sports copy chief, was being laid off. Crops — that was his nickname — was very near and dear to me and just a wonderful guy. Crops was ever patient and easy to talk to and a fantastic boss. He helped me when I switched over to the copy desk there and taught me everything I know about being a good, solid editor. I considered him a fine mentor. He also gave me a John Starks New York Knicks jersey as a going-away present — Crops found it on eBay! — when I left Delaware, and it’s one of my prized possessions.

Kevin Noonan was also let go. I didn’t know Kevin that well, but I saw him around the office a lot, and he was a pretty funny dude. And a terrific writer and columnist. I read a lot of his Eagles copy when he covered the team. He was also the guy we used to just say, “He’s a professional” whenever we got his stuff ’cause we knew it would be clean and ready to go fast.

I also knew several other folks who weren’t in sports and were laid off.

The state of this profession just saddens me.

I wish the 31 at the News Journal all the best of luck. God bless.