that rosebud girl

a lesson learned.

it was really difficult, but i finally learned how to walk away from something.

i quit “footloose.” broke my heart, absolutely, but i was just so physically and mentally drained that i just couldn’t do it. i hope those kids forgive me, and that crew forgives me, but i do feel a lot better now.

sometimes you really do have to take care of yourself first.

my to-do list isn’t even close to shrinking down, but i think i’ll be able to survive just that much better now.

four weeks of hell: day 1.

and it didn’t go that well.

* i forgot how hard it was to stage manage a show.

* i was admittedly a little unprepared.

* i tripped on a set backstage. luckily, i didn’t injure myself or break a set. but i think i tweaked my back yet again thanks to my clumsiness.

and this is just the beginning. three more days of tech rehearsal. then the four-weekend run begins.

and then, of course, there’s everything else that’s going on.

hopefully i don’t misplace my sanity. or trip over any other sets. and that my back holds up.

the soundtrack to my life

life has been …. interesting lately. it’s required all kinds of thinking. there’s been lots going on, from work intrigue and general gloom to the foibles of those around me.

i almost feel like i’m tethered to the ground while everyone moves around me. i’m watching and participating, yet reduced to staying in the background. i have a hand in things yet can’t truly change them. i have a say but can’t say anything. it’s as bizarre and profound as it sounds.

and it’s made me think a lot. and when i think a lot, i think to music.

i made a playlist i dig a lot. the common thread is these songs either contain a lyric i really like, or i just like the whole song. or it’s a song that’s spoken to me before.

the list:

“move along” — all-american rejects
“work” — jimmy eat world
“cath…” — death cab for cutie
“a movie script ending” — death cab for cutie
“blacking out the friction” — death cab for cutie
“a lack of color” — death cab for cutie
“our plans, collapsing” — chris walla
“a message” — coldplay
“lighted up” — gabriel mann
“cast no shadow” — oasis
“fake plastic trees” — radiohead
“let down” — radiohead
“fidelity” — regina spektor
“angel” — sarah mclachlan
“love will come through” — travis
“such great heights” — the postal service
“the promise” — when in rome

lots of death cab (and related music if you count chris walla and postal service). what can i say? i like that stuff.

can’t wait to see how everything goes.

at least music will always be the constant.